A Wedged Bear in Great Tightness

The pantry piles

"Bear began to sigh, and then found he couldn't because he was so tightly stuck; and a tear rolled down his eye, as he said:

'Then would you read a Sustaining Book, such as would help and comfort a Wedged Bear in Great Tightness?'"

from: The Complete Tales of Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Milne

It all began with a smell. We smelled it for a few days, especially in the pantry, and it wasn't pretty. Finally, Saturday morning came around and I decided that some piece of food must have died. My husband was gone, and we decided to do Big Cleaning. Every single thing came out of the pantry, and we scrubbed and searched for the evil odor. We came up with nothing.

Then, I attacked the refrigerator. Every science project was eliminated, every shelf put in order and cleaned, but NO foul item was found that could possibly be blamed.

We went on our Saturday chore way, cleaning the next room on the list. Putting the living back in order, I smelled "it" next to the propane stove. Hmmmm. There is a propane water heater in the pantry. Hmmmm. Vague rememberings of why propane smells more as the tank empties start rising to my mental awareness, and I go to check the status of the propane tank. Reading: just about empty. Saturday is not a fiscally friendly time to call the local propane company, plus the husband is gone for the weekend. I can sort of remember something about getting the tank emptied so we could switch companies, but it was said late at night as we paid bills, therefore easily forgotten. Well, we had to wait for his return on Sunday. My mom has an all-electric granny flat, so we can venture across the basketball court for showers each day. We will be Troopers.

Sigh. I have discovered that if my life was one of those survivor reality T.V. shows, you should vote me off of the planet as soon as the little inconveniences show up. Major tragedy? Huge disaster? I am your gal. I think clearer and act with quick wisdom under major pressure; it brings out the Wonder Woman in me. But, give me annoying inconveniences? Things like, "Golly, we'd love to have your business. We can rush your order and have that propane tank installed on Wednesday or Thursday, Mrs. W." when it is a Monday morning with loads of dishes and laundry just waitin' for the hot water heater to be back to its cheery self...well, these moments bring out the gloom and doom in me, the "wake me up when it's over" self that I wish I was not so well-aquainted with. My mind seems to freeze in annoyance, unable to count blessings, or see the beauty of a sunrise, or recognize the gifts surrounding me. This week is not my finest hour.

So, we do without hot water and heat. It is California, so all you snow-blessed folks need have no worries about our health. Our happiness has shaken, but only because it was resting on the shifting sand of convenience. Have no fear. We will kick start the brain into its usual appreciation of the finer and simpler things in life. This is just a momentary blip on the screen.

So, what does a Wedged Bear in Great Tightness do during times like this? Besides pray, and remind myself what is really true? I often return to an old book friend, not dive into new things, when life is annoying. I like the comfort of familiar stories, and have returned to them eagerly as I have bid each cold water day goodbye. I have revisited The Hawk and the Dove by Penelope Wilcock, I am continuing my way through The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco, and I am continuing some lenten readings in Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter. A good combination of soothing and stimulating, and they seem to be helping me to come back to life.

At this time in our lives, we have several family members and acquaintances that are fighting for their very lives, or needing to accept that the fight is over. They are experiencing true suffering. My annoyance needs to be turned on its ugly head and made to submit to reality. This is reality: my inconvenience is short-lived, even if the propane company's promises don't pan out due to rainy weather. It is good to remember that.

The rain is falling this morning. The water is c-o-l-d, but we are moving on. I mean, it isn't a real disaster. The coffee pot still works, after all.