Yesterday

I can't seem to get her out of my mind. Yesterday, while we were waiting for Mom's doctor's appointment, a woman entered the waiting area from the exam room side of the building. She walked as if in a fog, not seeing any of us, hearing only some nightmare in her mind. She wasn't crying, but her face showed great sadness and shock. She finally found a seat, held on to the arm of the chair to lower herself safely, and stared at the wall. Maybe sixty years of age, she clutched her cell phone anxiously, as if afraid that it would ring and maybe afraid that it might not. I was overcome with a wave of helplessness. She was a total stranger; her grief was fully unknown to me. All I knew was that she was a struggling person, and I longed to relieve her suffering, even if just a little. I wanted to offer her privacy for her grieving, or the hand of a friend to hold, and I could do neither.

I eventually abandoned all thought of reading; I couldn't even see the words. So, I just sat and prayed. Nothing that will grace the pages of Best Prayers of 2005, that is for sure. My prayers were more of the primal groan type that are spoken of in the scriptures. ("And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." Romans 8:26)

Just before the nurse called us back to get our results, the woman across the way looked over at me. She saw my mother sitting next to me, she heard my mother's name called, and she saw what must have been an anxious look on my face. She gave me the most lovely smile, and it touched me deeply. Amidst whatever nightmare was unfolding in her life, she took the time to gift me with a warm and caring smile. It fills my eyes with tears even now; I can only hope that the smile I gave in return touched her heart as deeply.

I am praying for that unknown woman today. May God give her the grace for whatever her future holds.