The Eeyore voice in my head was happy to announce: Black thumb! Once again!
But deep inside these branches there was a slow growing maturity, an extra long wait for spring's beauty.
Lying in the grass, looking up at this canopy of fragrant violet, I can't believe I doubted.
But ten years is a long time to think you are failing.
As I took deep breaths of wisteria perfume, feeling the itch of the grass on my neck, watching the light sparkle on this long, long path of beauty, I felt some tingling of hope.
Maybe these other areas of presumed failure are actually just a waiting! Maybe there is hope!
And then I read this:
Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”
A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!”Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (from John 20)
Lord, I believe. Help me with my unbelief.