Rest or panic?

I spoke confidently at our homeschool group last Thursday night, declaring that I am not a worrier. I sleep well, I don't stress about what I can't solve, and I let things go pretty easily. We were talking about the Andrew Kern conference, both my favorite idea of parenting and educating with our souls at rest, and the seemingly incongruent idea of a rigorous curriculum for our homeschools. I spoke honestly, really I did. I truly felt at rest while providing what I consider to be a rigorous enough education for my five children.

Then, the special speaker began his talk. A former college admissions officer for U.C. Davis, he was there to give us the scoop on how to get our kids into college. I have been worrying ever since, and I am not sure why. I can't imagine changing anything just to get a "cool" angle on the college application. We're not funding our children's education, so their options are limited by their own lack of willingness to drown in debt. The U.C. system itself goes for twenty-five thousand dollars a year. Yikes. My three oldest children were at the meeting with me, and my oldest in particular had some concerns about the approach this man was walking us through. It seemed so much like a p.r. spin to her, and I am not sure she's that far off.

This is a subject I'll be mulling over for the next...well, I guess the next eleven years, since my youngest is seven. I can't say they will all go to college, but we sure have a lot of talking and praying and researching to do. All the while, though, we continue doing what we know is right. We keep loving learning, we keep reading the best and the just okay books, we continue stretching and growing and trying new things. Not because they will make us look cool, but because it's what we love to do.

And, I must stop worrying. It's a waste of time, and I'm making a liar of myself. Not good.