The Friday Clive

"I nominally have (a place of my own) and am nominally master of the house, but things seldom go as I would have chosen. The truth is that the only alternatives are either solitude (with all its miseries and dangers, both moral and physical) or else all the rubs and frustrations of a joint life. The second, even at its worst seems to me far the better. I hope one is rewarded for all the stunning replies one thinks of one does not utter! But alas, even when we don't say them, more comes out in our look, our manner, and our voice. An elaborately patient silence can be very provoking! We are all fallen creatures and all very hard to live with."

My friend-not-yet-met Donna

Back when there was no Facebook, back when I had no idea what a blog was, I joined a message board for homeschoolers.  It was there I "met" Miz Booshay and found her Quiet Life.  Over the years I have enjoyed her stories and photographs and encouragement.  I love reading about her family, and not just her husband and four children.  There are great stories of her parents and her six siblings, stories full of love and tenderness and humor.

Names in the comment section have become familiar, become email friends, and some I have even met and enjoyed fellowship with.  When my daughter got sick with staph, my "friends" prayed and prayed and prayed; when Mom became ill last June, they started praying some more.  As strange as it sounds,  I have felt the power of this distant support.    

The comment section has not been without controversy.  Mustard, pictures of swimming babies, red carpet wardrobes...we have voiced our opinions with vehemence and grace, a rare combination.  Donna sets the tone for a loving community.

A few months ago, Miz Booshay's sister Sue was diagnosed with a tumor, inoperable, and the prognosis was not good.  It was hard to explain to my children how I could cry tears for a friend whom I have never met, about her sister whom I have also not met. And then tears fell again this weekend as Sue passed from this life to the next.

Today is the service for Sue.  Today will be hard for my friends-yet-met Donna and Janet.  Saying goodbye can rip the heart, stretching our faith and our understanding of what love can bear.  Today I am praying, asking God for mercy and peace for these lovely ladies who have such a heritage, such a family.

Thank you, Donna, for the community you have created.  My life is richer for the friends I have met (and have yet to meet) there.

Love you.  Mean it.

To my far away girl

Look what is blooming, Madelaine!  In between thunder showers and swirling winds, we grabbed these pictures for you.  We miss you.

p.s.  only 45 more days!

Light and beauty

Saturday

A beautiful day to be outside working on another Eagle project.

A beautiful day to sip coffee in a downtown cafe, working on papers and taking our time.

A beautiful day to find brick and signs and flowers to photograph in our cool town.

And a beautiful girl, taking photos and learning what she loves.

The Friday Clive

A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is . . . A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means - the only complete realist.

Just a little talking to myself....

“It is the first day because it has never been before and the last day because it will never be again. Be alive if you can all through this day because this day today is your life. What’s to be done? What’s to be done? Follow your feet. Put on the coffee, start the orange juice, the bacon, the toast. Then go wake up your children and your spouse. Think about the work of your hands… Live in the needs of the day.”

~Frederick Buechner, Listening to Your Life



HT: Deb

The Current Read-Aloud

We are all being pulled in by the charm of Wilson's story. This is a delightful book. I am happy to come to the party late, because it means there are two more in the series ready for us. Hours of joy ahead.

Marcel 2010

The candidate and friends

"I am the Republican candidate for the 6th Senatorial district. This is not the time for business as usual. It is time to hold the Senate Leader accountable for California’s problems. As a voter, you will decide whether to keep the current establishment intact and powerful, or to send me to the State Senate with the message that the citizens of California have had enough. This is a platform that Republicans, Independents, and Democrats alike can agree with. "

Marcel Weiland

Getting the word out

We are thrilled to have a friend of ours running for the California State Senate, District 6. Our only disappointment? We don't live in District 6. Just because we can't give him our vote doesn't mean we can't show our support, though; we hope to work on the campaign as much as possible. Yesterday's tea party event at the state capitol was a good time to get the message out: Marcel 2010!

Some of the campaign team

For more information about Marcel Weiland and his campaign, please visit his website.

The Friday Clive

You say the materialist universe is "ugly." I wonder how you discovered that! If you are really a product of a materialistic universe, how is it you don't feel at home there? Do fish complain of the sea for being wet? Of if they did, would that fact itself not strongly suggest that they had not always been, or wd. not always be, purely aquatic creatures? Notice how we are perpetually surprised at Time. ("How time flies! Fancy John being grown-up & married! I can hardly believe it!") In heaven's name, why? Unless, indeed, there is something in us which is not temporal.

Welcome home

From Leavings, a book of poetry by Wendell Berry:

2008: X

So many times I've gone away
from here, where I'd rather be
than any place I know, to go
off into the air for which
my only gift is breath, for I have
of myself no wings. It is death.
Farewell, my dearest ones.
Farewell, my lovely fields. Farewell,
my grazing flock, my patient horses,
Maggie my ardent dog. Farewell,
tall woods always so full of song.

However long I've stayed away,
coming home is resurrection. The man
who has gone comes back to his place
as he would come naked and cold
into his own clothes. And they
are here, the known beloved: family,
neighbors obliging and dear. The dead,
too, denying their graves, haunt
the places they were known in and knew,
field and barn, riverbank and woods.
The familiar animals all are here.

Coming back is brightening in a grave,
such is the presage of old hymns.
To the place we parted from in sorrow
we return in joy: the beautiful shore,
eternal morning, unclouded day.

Poem posted in celebration of the fact that Mom is HOME! Greeted by Sophie the dog and Sarge the cat and grandchildren and puffy white clouds, she has been resurrected one more time. And one more time we are filled with gratitude.

William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

I know this is a love sonnet, usually saved for romantic love, but my heart is filled with love for my dear mother today. She is in the hospital and she will be having a procedure at 7:00 p.m.

My mother has been the model of loyalty and faithful love, and it is an honor to be with her in this season of life. Right to the edge of doom, Mama.

As dear Miz Booshay says, "Love you. Mean It!!!"

"As for rosemary, I let it run all over my garden walls, not only because my bees love it but because it is the herb sacred to remembrance and to friendship..." Sir Thomas More

The Friday Clive (on Sunday)

Christianity is not merely what a man does with his solitude. It is not even what God does with His solitude. It tells of God descending into the coarse publicity of history and there enacting what can - and must - be talked about.

The wonder of Easter...days later

The Three Marys at the Tomb
- William Bouguereau -

HT: friend Tonia

Home Alone

My family is all gone, and it is so quiet in my house I can hear the dog snoring from across the room. I can't remember the last time it was this quiet around here.

At sunrise, however, the hillside was noisy with bird song, and one set of geese came so low I thought they just might fly in the window. A strange cat is visiting the hill, and the flowers are making their dramatic entrance as well. It is Spring in all its glory.

Having waited ten years for the wisteria to bloom, I cannot tell you what a thrill it is to see all the purple buds ready to pop. Wisteria is the picture of hope fulfilled.

When I see the first daffodils of spring I always think of the bulbs my sister planted in our sandbox growing up; they came up faithfully every year. Forget-Me-Nots remind me of my friend Jan, lilies remind me of Heather, daisies remind me of You've Got Mail ("Don't you think daisies are the friendliest flower?")

But when the iris starts blooming in the front flower boxes, I always think of my Half Moon Bay friend Alison. She's my friend who loves color and books and family and gratitude, and she knew me back when and is still my friend. I'm grateful for you today, Alison!

I don't think I realized how much I needed some quiet. I love my noisy family, I love our activities and our routines, but an empty house with a snoring dog is just what the doctor ordered today. Thanks, Lord!

Down the road

The cooking obsession continues

We have been loving Julia Child's cooking DVDs. Claire's Lemon Chicken is worth the price of the DVD, so I am grateful. FYI: Don't watch hungry. And you have to love butter, salt and Vermouth if you are going to appreciate Julia's cooking.

My husband just returned from his annual visit to Washington, D.C. I would love to see Julia's kitchen at the Smithsonian, but this book was a fine consolation prize.

I wanted some good reading while John was gone (I don't sleep well when I am single parenting) and I found a quickie review of these three books at Susan Wise Bauer's blog. I'm halfway through the last volume and I've enjoyed the window into a world so utterly different from my own. No $250 dinners in my future, but I still love to read about it.

Glory days

March Madness Update:

Guess who won the bracket here at Competition Central?

ME!!!!

It was one of those years when no one really cleaned up...by the end of the first round, all our brackets were a mess; in fact, one young man's ballot was literally torn to pieces, such was the sorrow and anguish. But someone had to win, and it was ME! I love winning.

No prize has been declared yet, but I'll think of something if they don't.

Beauty on a rainy Monday

John Chrystostom's Easter Homily

Are there any who are devout lovers of God?
Let them enjoy this beautiful bright festival!

Are there any who are grateful servants?
Let them rejoice and enter into the joy of their Lord!

Are there any weary from fasting?
Let them now receive their due!

If any have toiled from the first hour,
let them receive their reward.

If any have come after the third hour,
let them with gratitude join in the feast!

Those who arrived after the sixth hour,
let them not doubt; for they shall not be short-changed.

Those who have tarried until the ninth hour,
let them not hesitate; but let them come too.

And those who arrived only at the eleventh hour,
let them not be afraid by reason of their delay.

For the Lord is gracious and receives the last even as the first.
The Lord gives rest to those who come at the eleventh hour,
even as to those who toiled from the beginning.

To one and all the Lord gives generously.
The Lord accepts the offering of every work.
The Lord honours every deed and commends their intention.

Let us all enter into the joy of the Lord!

First and last alike, receive your reward.
Rich and poor, rejoice together!

Conscientious and lazy, celebrate the day!
You who have kept the fast, and you who have not,
rejoice, this day, for the table is bountifully spread!

Feast royally, for the calf is fatted.
Let no one go away hungry.
Partake, all, of the banquet of faith.
Enjoy the bounty of the Lord's goodness!

Let no one grieve being poor,
for the universal reign has been revealed.

Let no one lament persistent failings,
for forgiveness has risen from the grave.

Let no one fear death,
for the death of our Saviour has set us free.

The Lord has destroyed death by enduring it.
The Lord vanquished hell when he descended into it.
The Lord put hell in turmoil even as it tasted of his flesh.

Isaiah foretold this when he said,
"You, O Hell, were placed in turmoil when he encountering you below."

Hell was in turmoil having been eclipsed.
Hell was in turmoil having been mocked.
Hell was in turmoil having been destroyed.
Hell was in turmoil having been abolished.
Hell was in turmoil having been made captive.

Hell grasped a corpse, and met God.
Hell seized earth, and encountered heaven.
Hell took what it saw, and was overcome by what it could not see.

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?

Christ is risen, and you are cast down!
Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen!
Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice!
Christ is risen, and life is set free!
Christ is risen, and the tomb is emptied of its dead.

For Christ, having risen from the dead,
is become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.

To Christ be glory and power forever and ever. Amen!


HT: Wes Callihan

Edmund Spenser (1552–1599)

MOST glorious Lord of Lyfe! that, on this day,
Didst make Thy triumph over death and sin;

And, having harrowd hell, didst bring away
Captivity thence captive, us to win:
This joyous day, deare Lord, with joy begin;
And grant that we, for whom thou diddest dye,
Being with Thy deare blood clene washt from sin,
May live for ever in felicity!

And that Thy love we weighing worthily,
May likewise love Thee for the same againe;
And for Thy sake, that all lyke deare didst buy,
With love may one another entertayne!
So let us love, deare Love, lyke as we ought,
—Love is the lesson which the Lord us taught.

Joyous Easter to you and yours!

John Donne (1572-1631)

GOOD-FRIDAY, 1613, RIDING WESTWARD.



LET man's soul be a sphere, and then, in this,
Th' intelligence that moves, devotion is ;
And as the other spheres, by being grown
Subject to foreign motion, lose their own,
And being by others hurried every day,
Scarce in a year their natural form obey ;
Pleasure or business, so, our souls admit
For their first mover, and are whirl'd by it.
Hence is't, that I am carried towards the west,
This day, when my soul's form bends to the East.
There I should see a Sun by rising set,
And by that setting endless day beget.
But that Christ on His cross did rise and fall,
Sin had eternally benighted all.
Yet dare I almost be glad, I do not see
That spectacle of too much weight for me.
Who sees Gods face, that is self-life, must die ;
What a death were it then to see God die ?
It made His own lieutenant, Nature, shrink,
It made His footstool crack, and the sun wink.
Could I behold those hands, which span the poles
And tune all spheres at once, pierced with those holes ?
Could I behold that endless height, which is
Zenith to us and our antipodes,
Humbled below us ? or that blood, which is
The seat of all our soul's, if not of His,
Made dirt of dust, or that flesh which was worn
By God for His apparel, ragg'd and torn ?
If on these things I durst not look, durst I
On His distressed Mother cast mine eye,
Who was God's partner here, and furnish'd thus
Half of that sacrifice which ransom'd us ?
Though these things as I ride be from mine eye,
They're present yet unto my memory,
For that looks towards them ; and Thou look'st towards me,
O Saviour, as Thou hang'st upon the tree.
I turn my back to thee but to receive
Corrections till Thy mercies bid Thee leave.
O think me worth Thine anger, punish me,
Burn off my rust, and my deformity ;
Restore Thine image, so much, by Thy grace,
That Thou mayst know me, and I'll turn my face.

The Friday Clive

"What are we to make of Christ?" There is no question of what we can make of Him, it is entirely a question of what He intends to make of us. You must accept or reject the story.

The things He says are very different from what any other teacher has said. Others say, "This is the truth about the Universe. This is the way you ought to go," but He says, "I am the Truth, and the Way, and the Life." He says, "No man can reach absolute reality, except through Me. Try to retain your own life and you will be inevitably ruined. Give yourself and you will be saved." He says, "If you are ashamed of Me, if, when you hear this call, you turn the other way, I also will look the other way when I come again as God without disguise. If anything whatever is keeping you from God and from Me, whatever it is, throw it away. If it is your eye, pull it out. If it is your hand, cut it off. If you put yourself first you will be last. Come to Me everyone who is carrying a heavy load, I will set that right. Your sins, all of them, are wiped out, I can do that. I am Re-birth, I am Life. Eat Me, drink Me, I am your food. And finally, do not be afraid, I have overcome the whole Universe." That is the issue.

Revisiting old favorites

"In fact, it has been remarked by some that Hobbits’ only real passion is for food. A rather unfair observation. As we have also developed a keen interest in the brewing of ales and the smoking of pipeweed. But where our hearts truly lie is in peace and quiet and good tilled earth. For all Hobbits share a love of all things that grow. And yes, no doubt to others, our ways seem quaint. But today of all days, it is brought home to me, it is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life...."




"I am old Gandalf. I know I don’t look it, but I’m beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel thin, sort of stretched like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday, a very long holiday."

(click on image to see the amazon.com page)

Sometimes I just have to stop and read or watch an old favorite. In the last few days of spring break, we've pulled out The Two Towers (a film known to bring courage to two women I love) and now it is time for The Fellowship of the Ring. I love the Shire. I love Hobbits. I love Samwise. I love Howard Shore's music. Knowing the end of the story, the pain and loss that needs to happen, can only make the happy-go-lucky times in green fields and rollicking taverns bittersweet. But such is our life, too. This is my movie for courage. And I am going to enjoy every minute.